Finally.. a breakdown

I knew eventually the exhaustion, the lonliness, missing people, having an unpleasant/unhappy baby, a wild dog, a new marriage etc would prove too much and I would crack. Today I hada breakdowm and cried so hard I couldn't breath. I'll start from the beginning...

I love David. Alot. But we were only together a few months before I got pregnant, granted I knew him longer and that helped.. .but still. He loves me intensely. Sometimes he smothers me... grabs me every time I walk past, wants me to sit on the couch that he is on, don't leave the room he is in, can't we go to bed at the same time?... on and on. It wears on me.. I have NEVER been overly affectionate. I feel like maybe he thought I was putting on a hard front but this REALLY is how I am.. not a hugger, snuggler, cuddler, hand holder. I'm just not. I think it hurts his feelings... and he takes it so personal. I feel like I am walking on eggshells all the time now. My smart ass comments too. He takes it all so personal. Sometimes I tell him something he DID and it's like I don't love him anymore in his mind. I love him... just not what he did... does that make sense? So I am on edge alot.. it's gotten better the longer we have been together.. but I fear I can't give him what he needs. Guess it's a little late... either way, it's a stress.

Finn is out of control.. I have met so many dogs working at vets thru the years. But never one that didn't want to please his owners at all..... Finn.... just does what he wants, knowing there will be punishment, but apparently the crime is worth it. Example.. he eats everyone elses food, and poop. (i know, its gross) SO... he knows he shouldnt do it... sees you coming, and eats as much as fast as he can until you get there to drag him away. He KNOWS, but does what he wants anyways. He charges thru the door, hits everything in his path (including the baby if he is in the way) refuses to stop trying to get Kenneth's shes to eat, or his diapers for that matter. i really have tried everything. I trained Luna, she hates other dogs but she is a well behaved pet.
So, we do a favor for our friends and babysit their 2 boxers for 4 days. Tex and Ginger. They fight with our dogs (figures) So first off I told them LAST weekend was ok... David was here. Well, they rescheduled their trip and show up unannounced Friday.. and David was on a trip.. it's me, Kenneth and 4 big, fighting dogs. Well, I end up having to keep two in a bedroom and let two out to roam alternately. They tore up the door frame in the spare bedroom, chewed up a couple of Kenneths toys, vomited on the floor, and chewed a few other random things.
Fucking Finn, gets into their food and eats as much as he can get before I catch him.... it gives him diarrhea... all over my bedroom. It looks like someone put diarrhea in a blender and turned it on.... POOP EVERYWHERE

Then the toilet overflows.. I still don't know why... I've plugged up a toilet before but not with pee.

Kenneth starts to cry

it starts to rain on us while we are out buying a plunger

kenneth cried harded

I spend ALOT of time listening to my friends and families problems.... yet whe I hysterically call 4 people in a row.. not 1 answers or has time to listen to me for 5 seconds. I NEVER need to talk about my problems.. I can handle alot... but this morning was too much. And noone was there.


And David's solution was to put Finn out in the yard from now on... right... a golden retriever outside on Houston in the summer? sure. It's his dog, he needs to do something with him... train him, or take him to the golden rescue.

uhhh.